


shards

by seouq (orphan_account)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Continuation of Loveless, Drabble, Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-14 19:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11789976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/seouq
Summary: "Forget that I love you? Forget that I have for years? You must be ridiculous."Jongin wants to reach a middle ground with Kyungsoo, who can't let go.





	shards

**Author's Note:**

> I only made a part two of this because I posted it on EXO Amino and everyone wanted more even though it explicitly said "oneshot". This sucks major ass, but I'm posting it anyway because the people wanted it. Do let me know what you think. And, it is pretty much the same as Loveless, but whatever, it's rushed af.

"You...You want to reach a middle ground?"

Kyungsoo watched as Jongin nodded his head, dark hair falling in his eyes and chin resting in the palm of his hand. Jongin was perched on the arm of the couch, legs folded and he swayed every now and then, as if he was going to fall right off. Kyungsoo was seated on the floor with his legs stretched out in front of him. It was late afternoon and pink streaks of sun were shining through the window and licking at fingers, which were splayed out on either side of him.

"We can't just leave the situation as it is," Jongin's voice was laced with sleep as he continued; "We'll need to work something out. I don't want you feeling like you've been rejected, even though that may be the truth." Jongin left his sentence hanging, and Kyungsoo picked at the carpet, blinking away any tears before they threatened to come forth. He nodded, gesturing vaguely for Jongin to pick up where he left off, the sun slowly retreating from his hands and seeping into the thick carpet.

"Well, I was thinking about us... y'know, being in a relationship. But, a different kind of relationship?" Jongin slid off the arm of the couch and sat opposite Kyungsoo, who had looked up with furrowed brows at Jongin's unclear proposal. 

"Do you mean... a _sexual_ relat-"  
"Oh god no. Have you ever heard of platonic relationships, or queerplatonic?" Jongin cut off Kyungsoo, who was swallowing down a red flush creeping into his cheeks. Kyungsoo looked down again and shook his head, prompting Jongin to continue.

"We'll, it's a relationship that's more intimate than a regular friendship, but isn't enough to be romantic or sexual, because it lacks the romantic or sexual attraction. Obviously." Jongin cleared his throat and leant against the couch, legs stretched next to Kyungsoo's. "But, it would be a bit different in this case seeing as you have romantic feelings towards me, who lacks them for you. What people generally want in relationships is affection, commitment and a significant other to share their ups and downs with. I came across the term on the internet, and it's sat in my brain for a while. I want all of that, but I can't seem to find a romantic attraction towards anyone. I'm not close to any of the other members like I am with you." Jongin looked at Kyungsoo, his eyes glassy and voice soft. Kyungsoo stayed still, swimming in Jongin's dark eyes for a moment as the sun dripped below the horizon line.

"We could try a relationship without the romantic feelings." Jongin's voice rang out clear in the silent room, each syllable rolling off his soft lips and rippling in the still air. Kyungsoo stared across at him, his shattered heart rattling in his empty chest. Jongin must have noticed, for he slid over and put his hand on Kyungsoo's leg reassuringly, and leaned in close, his hot breath fanning out across the smaller boys exposed collarbones.

"We can do everything couples do; cuddle, go out on dates, you know. We both seem to want companionship, so why not seek it together? Without the feelings attached, if it doesn't hurt too much." Jongin smiled gently and pulled back, giving Kyungsoo room to think. He had stayed silent as Jongin had spoke, his heart crumbling, the shards digging into his chest and lodging themselves in between his ribs. He sighed.

 _"Without the feeling attached, of course."_ Jongin's words swam in his head and he cleared his throat loudly and laid back on the carpet. He curled his legs up and rolled over, back to the younger man. He felt a hand on the small of his back and shuffled away, tears slipping out of his eyes, but the hand followed him away.

"Kyungsoo, are you okay? Please talk to me. You haven't said anything in a while. We can just leave this and forget about it if you want, we can forget this hap-"  
"Are you fucking kidding me? Forget it?" Kyungsoo had rolled over and stood up, Jongin's warm hand falling off of his hip. He moved over to the window and shivered against the breeze lapping at his skin. 

"Forget that I love you? Forget that I have for years? You must be ridiculous. I can't forget about the way my stupid heart thrashes against my chest when I see you. It's like a stupid bird trying to escape a locked cage. I can't forget the veins of electricity that snake through my body when you touch me, that short circuit my brain and tangle my tongue. It's why I ever hardly fucking talk around you. The effect you have on me is fucking stupid and I'm so silly for _liking_ it. I shouldn't love a ma-"

Jongin had kissed him again. In Kyungsoo's frustration, he had become blind and oblivious, failing to notice Jongin standing too. His lips were slow but insistent. They melted into his own and he placed his hands on Jongin's chest before pushing him away. His buzzing lips screamed for more and his stomach twisted in hungry knots; hungry for the feeling of Jongin's lips on his, but he stood his ground and crossed his arms.

"Don't play with my feelings like that. Don't kiss me if you don't love me. Are you asking for me to hate you? Don't break me like this, you've done enough." He blabbered mindlessly, his numb lips still tingling, the taste of Jongin still lingering on them innocently. He wiped it off with his sleeve. Jongin frowned at the move.

"I like kissing y-"  
"But you don't like _me,_ you only like kissing me." Kyungsoo turned and stared at the moon; high and lonely in a blanket of stars. He wished he was the moon. Jongin sniffed behind him and he looked back at him. He'd sunk to the floor and buried his face in his knees again. Kyungsoo thought of the previous night. 

"Don't play with my heart like this. Don't say you can't hear the shards rattling in my chest." He walked past him, shadow dragging across the bare walls and he left Jongin dripping in moonlight.

"Let me put them back together."

The door was shut.


End file.
